The one thing I can't get over is the capacity for love that my fellow humans have. I realize that not everyone is going to understand, or be willing to accept me and all my faults and flaws and issues. And I'm okay with that. But for those of you who do...Those of you who read this and you feel your hearts swell a little bit with pride, respect, admiration or love....That means the world to me.
The constant terror and heartache that I live in, it's enough to drive a saint to suicide, but the love I get returned to me is so wonderful.
Today is the 4th of July and I've been thinking about a number of things, including, but not limited to, the people I've been blessed, and cursed, with.
On the one side, I have wonderful people who can look at me, broken pieces and all, and find something beautiful and worth loving. The ones who see all the twisted parts, the shattered bits, the darkness and complications and they're so tender and forgiving with me. They just allow me to be who I am and they don't expect anything from me. Nothing except what I have to offer. And that simple acceptance is the most amazing gift.
On the other hand, I've been cursed with those who judge, condemn and expect me to just 'make it go away', 'make it stop' or to even just 'turn it off' as if any of those options are available to me. Trust you me, if I could, for even an hour, be something other then what I am, to be able to make the Borderline go away, I would. No questions asked. Because I would love to experience life without all the stings attached, without all the fall backs, and tricks and traps.
So to those of you who allow me the freedom of just being me, no strings attached...Thank you. You're the reason I'm doing this, to allow you to come inside my mind, my soul, my life and see the world through my eyes.
Without you, I would no be.
Because without you, I would have no reason to be.
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