Lost in the Looking Glass

(If I had a world of my own everything will be nonsense)
(Nothing will be what it is because everything will be what it isn't)

I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time
And every creature lends themself to change your state of mind
And the girl that chased the rabbit drank the wine and took the pill
Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels
To stand outside your virtue
No one can ever hurt you
Or so they say

Her name is Alice (Alice)
She crawls into the window
Through shapes and shadows
Alice (Alice)
And even though she is dreaming, she knows

Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain
And every ounce of innocence is left inside the brain
And through the looking glass we see she's faithfully returned
But now off with her head I fear is everyones concern
You see theres no real ending
Its only the beginning
Come out and play

Her name is Alice (Alice)
She crawls into the window
Through shapes and shadows
Alice (Alice)
And even though shes dreaming
Shes unlocked the meaning for you
This kingdom could rid us her freedom and innocence
Has brought this whole thing down

Her name is Alice (Alice)
She crawls into the window
Through shapes and shadows
Alice (Alice)
And even though she is dreaming
Shes unlocked the meaning

Shes unlocked the meaning for you

(And contrary wise what it is it wouldn't be)
(And what it wouldn't be it would)
(You see)

-Her Name is Alice, by Shinedown.


Really read these lyrics. Just take a minute, re-read them, listen to the song if you can, and THINK on these lyrics.

Think about that world, where time means nothing, and it flows in strange ways, slipping through your fingers and dragging all at the same time. A world where everything, everyone seems to have been created just to complicate and confuse you. To feel like you're trapped in limbo, the pain that lingers.

When the chorus come on, and it talks about Alice crawling through shapes and shadows, I totally understand. Because that is a wonderfully poetic description of how it feels to shift from Ana to Ana to Ana to Ana. Even though I am me, I don't know who ME is and I shift and change.

I'm also horribly acquainted with the pain of a ruined soul, where it feels as though all that remains is the pain, that you've suffered a soul-death. And there isn't any end on the horizon, no hope of a better day, just the fear of an end, or sometimes, even the hope of an end.

Either way it's not a good place to be.


There are actually a lot of comparisons between Borderline Personality Disorder and Tinker Bell, and even Alice when she's lost in Wonderland, or the Looking Glass World.

Lemme explain.


Tinker Bell: In the original story she's so tiny that she's incapable of being more then one emotion. When she's good, she's wonderful. When she's bad, she's horrible. Because she can only be one, she is ALL of that single emotion at a time. I live like that too. When I'm forgiving, I could forgive the entire world of their faults. When I'm angry, I could destroy an entire country.

Alice: When Alice is lost in Wonderland, she doesn't know who she is anymore. And through a series of strange, confusing, and often distressing events she goes through a process of elimination to figure out who she isn't, eventually waking up and just being her.

Well, life as a Borderliner is living that process of elimination, sometimes we win the game and know who we are before we die, sometimes we don't.

Can you imagine? I mean sure, you see girls idolizing both Alice and Tinkerbell, but the characters they see are such a watered down version that we forget the original characters.

They were darker, more raw then the way Disney portrays them.

That's me. I am dark and raw and uncompleted. I am a creature of oddity, and emotion. It's a wild, untamed existence.

Often you'll see me make the comparisons in the future, so I figured I'd take a minute and explain it.